The gods ate ambrosia. And the morals? Not so much.

What comes to mind when we think of Greek food? Maybe yummy gyros or a crisp "Greek" salad? Wrong! Most foods that we typically think of as "Greek" come from a larger tradition of Ottoman cuisine. In fact, most Ancient Greeks only ate meat when it was being slaughtered for public sacrifice, and no one would have lay eyes on a tomato until about 1540 CE!

So let us tell you what the Hellenes really ate...

Their diet might seem "healthy" today, but really it was just a product of general poverty. It focused on olive oil, bread, fish, and veggies.

We chose to do a fish and fritter meal...

COD WITH CORIANDER
-2 tbsp of coriander seeds
-1 tsp salt
-2 cod steaks
-white wine vinegar


Preheat the oven in 375 F. Place the coriander seeds in a baking pan and bake them for 10 minutes. Mash them with a mortar together with the salt. Drain the fish steaks and remove any tiny bones you can find. Sift them with the coriander mixture and place them in a baking pan (baste the baking pan with oil). Cover the pan and place it in the oven. Bake the fish for 20 – 25 minutes. Remove from the oven, sprinkle with vinegar and serve hot. 


We weren't joking about their skimp nosh. Needless to say, we now know why either of us have never eaten cod... it's terrible! You'd think coriander would have a ton of flavor given that it flowers cilantro (the Spanish name for the plant), but the fish was very bland. About the most exciting dish that went down in Ancient Greece was the Spartans' "black broth"... a soup made partly with blood. 

HONEY AND SESAME FRITTERS
-1 cup flour
-1 cup water
-2 tbsp honey
-oil for frying
-1 tbsp baked sesame seeds

Mix flour, water and one spoon of honey and make a dough. Heat oil in a frying pan and pour ¼ of the mixture. When it thickens turn it upside down 2 -3 times to fry it in both sides. Prepare 3 more fritters following the given instructions. Serve them hot, pour over the rest of the honey and dredge sesame seeds over them.


With no sugar around, honey was their one and only sweetener. The fritters were a step up from the fish, but nothing extraordinary. 


All in all, our Ancient Greek foodventure was an EPIC fail! But don't feel too bad for the Hellenes, they compensated for their gastronomic austerity by being total oenophiles!!!

Getting down with Bacchus, nbd.